Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Green mimosas i think yes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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