When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize