with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
