He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this will be a night to untag.
did i walk over a car last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
