Can i not drive my cunt home
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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