Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
be right there i have to get my cape
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
