babies were throwing up all over the place
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
