Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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