She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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