Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
