I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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