I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
