Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
