I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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