We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
