Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
