I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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