Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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