so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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