What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
