Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
