Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
