atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
