And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
