Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
