Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
