For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
