I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
