upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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