Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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