Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
