I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
