i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
