Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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