What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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