Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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