So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
