I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the condom got lost in my hair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
