i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Actions speak louder than pants.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
