as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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