the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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