question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Welp...herpes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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