Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
