I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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