I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I checked into jail on foursquare
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
