where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He passed out mid-signature
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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