Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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