i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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