what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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