Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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