So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
last night I used snow as a chaser
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
