I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
