I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize