so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
