And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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