I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
