Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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