i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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