hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
