A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
